Overwhelmed

This one word sums up exactly how John and I have felt the last few days.  Logic would say that’s it’s because we are leaving for China in 11 days. (Ahhhhh!!! Yes, we are leaving in 11 days!!)  But no physcial circumstance can take credit for this flood in our hearts….only a God so merciful, so loving, so very, very good.  At times there just aren’t words to even speak.  All HE is….all HIS Word is…all HE has done. For these reasons we are overwhelmed.

2 days ago on November 5th,  I woke up and heard in my spirit “This will be a day you will never forget.”  Well that shook me awake and at first I wondered…good, or bad? lol.  So I told the kids and John before work and school what I had heard. Then waited to see what God would do.

On Novemeber 3rd our Article 5 had been picked up and it’s typcially 1-4wks before the TA (travel approval) and travel dates are given. With Elyana’s adoption we waited a little over 3wks….and now see that wait as a gift that allowed us to be placed us in an AMAZING travel group with AMAZING friends we will have for life.

This time we prepared ourselves for the wait, but were sweetly surprised when only 2 DAYS LATER…on that day I heard those words that it would be a day we never forget.

I received a phone call at 10:30am, on Nov 5th, asking us if we could be ready to travel November 18th to China.

I said one big giant “Yes!” and wrote down the details of our travel.  Then called John.  Neither of us knew what to say….other than we felt this huge wave crash over us.

We are overwhelmed.

It wasn’t just the blessing of leaving early, or the great big gifts of two precious boys waiting for us in China…..but it was like the ice cap on the top of one great BIG mountain in our lives where HE has lovingly showcased HIS mercy, power and answers to MANY cries for help in our weaknesses.

mountain-04

That mountain is made up of every promise fulfilled, every chain broken, every tear saved, every cry of the broken heard in heaven, every groan the Spirit has interpreted, ever provision met, every weakness scooped up in love, every drop of grace in our time of frailty.  That majestic mountain, made up of so many minerals compacted by every time we’ve seen God move during this adoption, during this past year….during our lives.

Overwhelmed.

Because He answered when we called. He held us when we cried. He gave faith when feelings were absent, and He has allowed us to be gifted two boys that will be lonely and broken NO MORE!!  Because HE is who HE says HE is.

We are overwhelmed by a God that so many have misunderstood and misspoken about.  He really, really is a good, good Father to His children.  We never earned this love.  He scooped us up in all our imperfections and weaknesses.  He loved us in ALL our brokeness.  And because of this great love planted in our hearts, we will travel the world around to share it with Hudson and Wesley SOON!!!!!

Yes, we are overwhelmed.

Not because of my “to do” list or because I still feel inadequate, or because our home is still not yet completed.  No, not one physical thing should rock us off of the place where He desires to hold us still.  At rest against His beating heart that makes the only rhythm that will soothe the soul.

This kind of good overwhelming makes all the physical junk find it’s place in a heavenly perspective.  So my “to do” list becomes shorter and my heart finds time to pray and soak Him in instead of freaking out!!  Oh may I NEVER forget those words I’ve just written.  To abide always in HIM, amidst everything moving all around.

I know I’ll need those in the days to come.  When we are deep in the trenches helping our boys to heal and allowing God’s love through us to break chains….may this mountain of goodness be what helps John and I keep the perspective of a heavenly Father who also chose us in our brokeness.

On Nov 4th, the night before we would get the call to GO!! I heard the Spirit speak a verse out of Ps. 34.  So that was what we read with the kids before bed.  And as we read we claimed every promise for our family and our boys….

 I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.

 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.

 I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.

This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.

 The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

 O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

 O fear the Lord, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.

 The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.

Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?

 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.

 The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.

 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.

 Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate.

 The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.

Just one day before my birthday, on November 22nd our lives will be forever changed when we meet in person for the first time our son Wesley AiJun.

chu ai jun8

And just one week later on November 29th, we will again be overwhelmed by the goodness of God when we first meet our son Hudson QinJin. 

jiang qing jin_17

On a Saturday morning in the early stages of our adoption…before we ever knew or had any idea we would be gifted two sons, I heard these words “Come and get us Mom”  That day I knew it was really time to start paperwork and push through it.  Now I can say to our two sons…..”We are coming to get you! You will be rejected no more, hungry no more, lonely no more, traumatized no more, broken no more! You are chosen, Beloved!  We will love you with the love of a great big wonderful Father!

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jeremiah 31:3

And finally, these are the two songs playing in my heart this week…..

Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories
Of what they think You’re like
But I’ve heard the tender whisper
Of love in the dead of night
And You tell me that You’re pleased
And that I’m never alone

You’re a good good Father
It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are
And I’m loved by You
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am...

Good, Good Father ~ Chris Tomlin

I see the work of Your Hands
Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice
All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
Captivated by Your beauty
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross
Forgiven and free forever You’ll be my God
And all that You’ve done is so overwhelming

Overwhelmed ~ Big Daddy Weave

Thank you.  To each of you who have been here for us during this time of preperation and rejoicing.  Thank you for covering us in the protection of prayer as we know our enemy hates what we are doing.  For it will be God who has the glory in these lives redeemed.


4 thoughts on “Overwhelmed

  1. Thank you for such a sweet, sweet post. I want you to know that your story is helping encourage me. My husband and I are adopting from China too! We are currently waiting for our I-800A fingerprinting appointment. We have not yet been matched with a child, but like you, we are home study approved for TWO! We don’t yet know God’s plan, but originally only thought that we would adopt one child. These past two weeks, God has laid an Older Child on my heart as well. We are still praying God’s will to be revealed to us, and through the scary, we lean on his love and comfort. Thank you for sharing your story. Please pray for us as we are still in the early stages of our journey. Much love in Christ.

    1. Tausha I’m so grateful when God connects hearts like this. Thank you for taking the time to comment and share your story. Though we don’t yet know you….we will lift you up in prayer….knowing we serve a great big God that is famous for dung great big things! He will write your story with His beauty.
      Do you have a blog I coukd follow or way we could stay connected?
      Blessings over your every step….and those 2 amazing children waiting for you.

  2. How the time has flown by! It seems like it was just the other day we were standing in the garage, and you were telling me God had chosen two boys! And then the house repairs, the updates, videos and pictures of the boys, paperwork and emails, trips here and there, and Hudson’s birthday came and went….it has been such a blur! God has orchestrated all of it, and He has made Himself know the whole way. He is a good, good Father indeed!! How blessed we have been by sharing this journey with you and your family. Words really cannot express how these beautiful children have changed our lives. My heart is already with Hudson and Wesley, and I feel so privileged to be able to love them and be a part of their healing. What truer way to reflect the Fathers love and redemption? He is certainly pleased….not because you are holier or more righteous…but because you, John, Ryan, Jenna, and Elyana are reaching out to share the same healing love that heals you and redeems you each day. We love all of you so much, and we look forward to sharing every step with you in the months and years to come! It won’t be easy, but you are not alone! Our God Jehovah will provide, and He is faithful. We will be here to carry you when you are weak or tired, and we will love and pray your family through. God has planted us here together….you have always been there for us…through it all… and we will be here for you all! We rejoice with you, and we will cry with you! Your family is anointed for this, and He is a good, good Father! It’s who He is. We are loved by Him. It’s who we are. ❤

    1. What a beautiful message. I will always treasure this, and all the times your family has loved and supported us. You’ve helped us get to them….and have been His hands and feet to them already.
      It’s such a comfort to know we are not alone and that I can call you to rejoice or cry….AND you rejoice or cry with us!! You are a gift God knew I would need to walk this journey of life. I love you sis.

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