Those of you who know me well, know that Mom-day wasn’t always a joyous day growing up….but that God has redeemed this day, making it one of the sweet, sunny spots in my year…..
For so many it can be a hard or bittersweet day. As a little girl every time the mother-daughter banquet rolled around, I dreaded it, and always felt a little out of place at the table with my grandma and her daughter. M-day projects and essays about “what we love about mom” at school…….all left me squirming in my seat.
But, as God so sweetly does he heals and fills that void we feel in our hearts…..and though that gap in my heart has closed so much -there will always be a place empty where my mom should’ve stood.
I realize our adopted daughter from China may feel something similar, and though her gaps will be filled with love…she may always feel she is missing one small piece in her heart…a piece always empty…a special spot…for the mom who chose to give her life….by giving birth…..
The woman whose self-less gift didn’t end my daughter’s life, but chose an unknown path for her instead.
… I thank God I have felt pain in my life…..so that in some small way, I can be understanding to hers. Even though I won’t ever know what it feels to not be able to put a face to the one who carried you for 9months, I have known a God who is good at filling our gaps.
I’ve realized looking back over my life thus far….God has used amazing, loving women to fill my gap….He used two beautiful children to gift me with motherhood….He’s given me His unconditional love through these loving hands and hearts…
And so I will trust in my gap-filling God.
I’ll trust he will also fill our “little one’s” empty place, and if Mother’s Day finds you….happy, hurting, lonely, waiting, grieving, rejoicing, or a bittersweet mix of all…..that He will fills yours too.
With Love on this Mothers Day,
**quick note…there was no way possible to include all the amazing women in my M-day picture collage….so I want to thank each one of you that have been a gap-filler in my life! What an amazing blessing beyond words you have been. I also, especially thank those of you who have been near enough to my heart to excitedly share this adoption journey with me…it has meant more than you’ll ever know & I can’t wait for our little one to meet each of you! I thank God for you…whether friend, aunt, grandma, mom-in law, aunt-like-mom, sister, or like-sister….and wish you each an amazing Mom Day! I love you!
For thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth.
By thee have I been holden up from the womb:
thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.
…… thou art my strong refuge.
Let my mouth be filled with thy praise and with thy honour all the day. Ps 71:5-8